Holidays are a prime time of year to be surrounded by traditions and memories but if you are grieving a loss of a loved one those sudden memories may not be pleasant in the moment. Have you ever found yourself hijacked by an emotion and or memory? A trigger is a sight, smell, event, sound, etcetera, that causes a sudden rush of emotions and memories. For those who are grieving this Christmas season it’s important to prepare yourself for the sudden onset of those paralyzing moments. Here are a few things to keep in mind.
1. Brainstorm what may take your breath away (triggers).
Go through your mental list of associations with the one you lost. Are there certain smells you associate with them? What about sights? Or events? Take plenty of time to think of the many things you could encounter this year as you head into the Christmas season that may remind you of them.
2. Come up with a plan.
Once you have your list of possible triggers, come up with a plan that will help you cope with them. Here are some examples:
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- Come up with a script in case you suddenly need to leave a Christmas party.
- Driving separately to events allows you to leave whenever you want to and not have to wait on others.
- Allowing yourself to be tearful and weep if necessary.
- Spending extra time with someone else you love that understands your limitations (Spouse, grandchildren, friends, etc).
- Change your routine or traditions as needed to allow yourself grace.
3. Find ways to remember.
Allow yourself to enjoy memories of the past and appreciate the love you shared. Purposefully remembering well will help protect you from the sudden memories that may come when triggered.
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- Pull out an old photo album or scroll through your camera reel.
- Making a special ornament in memory of someone.
- Purposefully setting their place at the table to remember them.
- Talking about them with others rather than ignoring their influence.
And above all remember to be gracious with yourself as you navigate through the trigger-filled Christmas season.
Considering Tele-therapy?
Christian Mom Counseling provides professional counseling via virtual teletherapy for women located in the state of North Carolina. We utilize real-time video to have sessions with women all over the state of NC. There are multiple reasons why and here are a few:
- As a mom of three, I understand the difficulty of scheduling and making time for myself. I’ve found that many other mothers who are in the early childhood stage of motherhood find scheduling online sessions easier and more feasible. Save time on travel and sitters and schedule online.
- You can attend your session even if you are sick without the risk of exposing anyone else!
- It’s a good option if you live in a remote area that makes finding a counselor close to you difficult.
- My primary specialty is faith-based Christian Counseling. That being said, many of my clients have commented on their inability to find counselors who claim to be Christian and include faith as a major part of the client’s healing and recovery.
- Virtual Counseling is here to stay and studies have shown that in many cases tele-therapy can be equally as effective. You will always hear me recommend in person interpersonal connections (family, friends, church, small groups, and other forms of deep relationships with others) but online counseling can provide many of the same advantages of in-person counseling.
If you’ve been wondering if tele-therapy would be a good fit I’d love to hear from you! Click the button below to form to schedule a free phone consultation: